John Egbert

[The video feed starts out harmlessly enough. It's just John in his room, sitting on his bed. He is looking weirdly gleeful, though.]

Hi guys! So I don't know who knows this but today is Nicolas Cage's birthday! For those of you who don't know who he is, Nic Cage is God's gift to human cinema basically the best thing to happen to my young life.

If you have not seen Con Air or any of his other masterpieces, you are basically required to come to my room right now because I am having--

[And then he swings the camera around to show the main showcase of his fantastic, amazing decorations, a banner simply displaying the following:]

( Brace your eyeballs )

[Step one of awesome three way birthday party: round up the guests.

John has no problem finding Dave and Jade, but it is only now that he realizes he isn't sure where Rose's room is. Luckily, something probably hilarious and convenient and also hilariously convenient happens and he manages to find her too, and soon they all return to John's room where they will find the fruits of step, uh, zero. Damnit, he should've planned his step numbering better.

Anyway, the room is decorated in red, green, and pink streamers. There's a bunch of pizza and cookie dough ice cream and soda piled in front of the TV, and on the TV the DVD for The Hobbit idles, ready to play.]

Time for a special triple birthday movie premiere, guys!

[John didn't necessarily mean to show of his roleplaying ability, but he's apparently going to.

By getting caught on tape while he runs around the halls of the mansion holding his arms out in front of him and going WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH. Kinda like this. I mean this.]

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHOOOOWWWWOOOOOOSSSHHHHHH!

PCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!